Creepy Crematorium

Chci byt zdrava.

That means I want to be healthy in Czech. I learned it yesterday when I found out that I have Pneumonia. This is not a fun adventure. The doctor told Maria that I am under strict orders not to go to Berlin this weekend with everyone else. Therefore, I will be sufficiently bored and I’m pretty sure the weather isn’t supposed to be as beautiful as it has been this week.

After what seems like forever, the sun finally broke through and I realized how grateful I am to be here again. After class on Tuesday, I had to run some errands, but ended up getting distracted by the river. On my way to the river, I saw a man performing saxophone in Old Town Square rather enthusiastically. I stopped and enjoyed for a little bit. When I gave him some change in my pocket, he called me hesky (I love when Czech class pays off) and he thrusted a handful of postcards in my hand. I thanked him, only took one, and went on my way.

I sat beside the river for a while. I wanted to go to Petrin Hill really badly, but knew how much walking that would take from me and couldn’t muster the energy with this sickness.

Which brings me to the doctor experience. I was given directions to the place and Maria set up an appointment for me around 7pm. So, after Philosophy, I began my journey. I’m glad I wasn’t deathbed sick because finding this place would have been a nightmare. I had to take the metro line all the way to the end, then take the tram four stops further. Once I get off there, I have to walk about three blocks away from the main road and navigate using only a map provided. Luckily, I was a girl scout for 2 years in elementary school and navigated that map like I’ve never navigated a map before, but the walk wore me out (most physical activity does). Not only that, but it was getting dark and I was in an unfamiliar part of the city. I must have had a worried face when I walked into the lobby of the center because the receptionist looked at me and before I had a chance to tell her why I was there she opens her arms and says, “I know. Here- take a seat and I will make you a cup of water.” She has been the nicest Czech person I’ve met yet.

The doctor was a tall timid creature and when he asked for my health background and details of my illness, he would type loudly while I responded. I was surprised he could hear me over the typing actually. He listened to my lungs for almost 5 minutes. I listed about 6 symptoms, and he gave me 6 remedies. He had to type out a guide for me that described when I took each. He also asked that I come back for an x-ray the following morning. All of this seemed really excessive to me at the time, but now that I’m taking the medicine, I am thankful for all of it.

The x-ray the next morning was kind of a ridiculous experience, too. Most of my education of Eastern Europe comes from the Holocaust courses I’ve taken. So, I hate to admit it, but I think about the Holocaust a lot while I’m here. Therefore, when I walked into a room filled with old numbered doors that had vents at the top and bottom of them, I was convinced that I was standing in a crematorium.

When my name was called, I went into “Dva, prosim (that means two, please).” I opened the door to find another door in front of me and a chair to the right. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, so I just stood there waiting. A woman opened the door after a few minutes and looked surprised at me. She said, “undress.” Pardon?! Undress? That’s it- I am definitely getting burned today. That’s the only thing I could think of. I awkwardly took off my dress and then waited for further instruction. She said, “no, bra too please.” Thank goodness I wore leggings with my dress that day, but I am now topless in a creepy old crematorium. She then proceeded to grab my shoulders and direct me to the x-ray machine. It was then that she noticed I was wearing a necklace. She pointed to it and then pointed to her mouth. I couldn’t help myself from blurting out, “YOU WANT ME TO SWALLOW MY NECKLACE?” She said “no, hold it in your mouth.” Haha, I wish you could have seen the horror in my face. I actually had myself convinced that the doctor ordered me to get an x-ray because he found out I have Jew blood and wanted to trick me into the crematorium.

Alas, I got x-rayed then shooed back to change. The woman didn’t close the door, though, and two men walked into the room I was just in for some reason. I am still topless and really uncomfortable now, so I scurry for my clothes and put them on with rapid speed. I went back into the waiting room and looked around at the people there differently. I wondered if they knew they were about to strip down for a nurse.

I got the x-rays back and I assume they write a memo that tells you what the results mean, but I couldn’t read it because it was in Czech. I went back downstairs and gave my x-ray to the receptionist (it wasn’t the same woman from last night unfortunately. I got pretty attached to her.) She had me talk to the pediatrician and as soon as I met him, I wished that he had been the one I originally saw. He was the sweetest old Czech man I have ever laid eyes on. He kept giggling, too. Actually, that might be a little discerning considering he was explaining that I had Pneumonia.

Well, that’s that. I have been sick for a while now so I wasn’t planning on staying in bed this whole time. I hate the feeling when you’re lying in bed thinking about what’s outside your window. Typically, Raleigh is outside my window. Or Reisterstown is outside my window. But right now, PRAGUE is outside my window. How the hell do you stay indoors when Prague is outside your window? However, when I tried to go to class today, Maria yelled at me to go home.

Curse you, pneumonia. But, I am now in bed. I spent the afternoon sleeping and now that it’s bedtime, I can’t fall back asleep. I have a lot of work for classes now so hopefully that will keep me busy in the meantime.